Cleanup on Mile 9

Celery-lovers, look away! Or steal a peek through trembed fingers. First responders in Ontario on Tuesday weren’t sure what to think of initial calls for help along Highway 9 when responding to reports of a vegetable spill. Arriving on scene, they were greeted with a boo-boo the likes of which you don’t necessarily see everyday. It’s quite a scene to behold. 48,000 pounds of farm-fresh unprocessed celery just minding their business motoring their way to a nearby processing/packaging facility when their chaperone takes a turn onto the highway a bit too eagerly. The load shifted uncomfortably, momentum quickly followed and the open-air payload toppled forth perfectly blanketing all southbound lanes with an emerald lawn of 432,000-ish befallen celery stalks. It took hours to cleanup the mess with a snow plow, front loader and dump truck in a thing of smartly adapted, choreographed beauty. The only thing missing? Several million glasses of Bloody Marys, ramekins of blue cheese dressing and oodles of buffalo wings. I suppose this would qualify as a zero calorie crash; negative calories in certain corners of the internet.