From the 2018 Archive | Pocket Listing
(Un)obstructed Views
Tucked along a tight dog’s-leg bend of the Potomac River in suburban Maryland you’ll find pristine beauty, a clutch of Real Housewives and a whole heap of familiar controversy which took an interesting turn of its own recently. Nestled jarringly a stone’s throw from the muddy banks of the mighty Potomac and steps from C&O Lock 21 is the palatial estate of Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder. For those who are unfamiliar, Daniel Snyder since purchasing his home from Jordan’s King Hussein and Queen Noor in 2000 for $10M has endured a tortured history here.
Daniel spared no expense in erecting the French manner of his dreams atop 15.2 lush acres of riverfront property. Built on commission, he insisted upon imported French limestone for the regal façade, zinc gutters to ring the dramatic eaves and a slate roof free of any burdensome solar panels. And at more than 30,000 square feet, his main residence boasts two solariums, a double-height drawing room (the better to draw FREELY) and is VERY on-trend with two kitchens: a “clean” gourmet fully-outfitted show kitchen for entertaining and a “dirty” kitchen out of the way and hidden around the corner where unsightly, smelly and messy food is actually prepared by staff. As if. And oddly, only 5 bedrooms. Did I mention the helicopter landing pad and the ballroom?
Anyhow, the problem though that kept gnawing at Daniel day-in and day-out was a bothersome population of trees obstructing his view of the turgid Potomac. Daniel would soon learn that his house sits in a National Park and is designated an Historic Site meaning any land alteration would be subject to a thick bureaucratic bizzard of paperwork and environmental impact reviews. Unless of course he happened to know someone at the Department of the Interior and by extension, the National Park Service.
Enter P. Daniel Smith, Special Assistant to the National Park Service, essentially #2 in-charge. Together the two Daniels would devise a plan to cite JUST the 140-odd view-obstructing trees as non-native and have them clear-cut under the National Park Service’s “Exotic Plant Extermination Program” in exchange for a donation, nevermind the park’s horticultural specialists who decried such abject and abrupt changes to the local ecosystem or even just the sheer brash unsavoriness of it all. So the chainsaws came out, the trees came down and Washington football hasn’t been the same since. It’s thought that ever since that fateful deal that reeked of graft was consummated, that anything Daniel Snyder touched would be so-tainted. One need research his involvement with Six Flags Corporation as testament to this. Also, his ownership of the Redskins.
Since he’s come aboard, it seems the Skins just haven’t been able to catch a Potomac break. Relentlessly and perpetually committed to losing seasons free of playoff participation much less Super Bowl facetime, the Redskins settle for lurching from one season to the next, one critical injury after another, yet another banner head coach in a revolving door full of them. And an empty, desolate trophy case in Landover to show for all of it. Might Daniel Snyder’s personal Land of Broken Dreams have been born the moment that first tree was touched? Recall that the name Potomac comes to us from the Algonquian Native American language and translates roughly to “the place to which tribute is brought.”
Also recall that the banks of the Potomac river were bountifully inhabited by Native Americans for generations upon generations before the Mayflower even set course for Plymouth in 1620. Might that a curse have been brought to the doorstep of Daniel Snyder as soon as those “unsightly” trees were felled upon indigenous, sacred land? Once can’t be sure. But Daniel put his palatial estate up for sale six weeks ago for the hefty sum of $49M! Shadow Curse? Free with purchase. Showings by appointment only.
Sale or no sale, the Daniel Snyder curse hangs prominently in the air just as it did on Monday night. Yikes and ouch. Again (after Alex Smith’s career-ending busted pin injury from but 2 weeks ago), yet another injury to another “star” player on the Redskins squad. This time backup QB and new starter Colt McCoy suffered a grievous injury, a broken leg, a season-ending injury for him and most likely the Team. Especially considering their 3rd string QB is now their starting QB and is Mark Sanchez. Mark has been with the Team a little more than 14 days and it showed when he picked up for Colt in Monday’s ugly loss to the Eagles 13–28. Mark passed for 100 yards in a game that saw his most glorious, longest pass of the night sail into the waiting talons of the Eagles. Mark played like he barely knows his teammates and lost like he barely knows the plays. Now add into the mix news that the Skins have signed Josh Johnson (who hasn’t played a game in the NFL in 5 years) as Mark’s backup and we will have come full-circle in proving that the Daniel Snyder Curse is alive, well and evergreen. Even setting aside the whole Reuben Foster debacle their continued resistance to Colin Kaepernick (unofficially on principle I guess but officially because “he doesn’t fit with the offense” which begs the question Does the Offense fit with the Offense?) defies logic at this point. All together? A big steaming pile of WAS dog poo. Sorry Skins fans. Better luck NOT when Daniel Snyder sells his ghastly home but when he finally sells the Team. At which point Skins fans can finally hose off that tainted reputation of mediocrity. And Purell their hands of Daniel Snyder.
So enough of Skins talk 😊. Much occurred in the NFL as Week 13 drew to a close. We have our first clinch. Yep our trusty Rams clinched their Division title with their 30–16 win over the Lions on Sunday. And at 11–1 on the season, they own the league’s best record. The best that DET can boast from this game is that they held LA to their 3rd lowest point total of the Season so I suppose there’s thaaaat. Nevertheless, LAR’s remaining games foretell more Ws added to their impressive collection assembled thus far. AS to Detroit? At 4–8, they’ll quietly slink off into the shadows of the 2018 regular Season that was. LA’s other team, the Chargers continue in their barnstorming ways behind a career renaissance in Phillip Rivers (26/36, 299 Yards, 2TDs) and their collective and improbable, literal last second come-from-behind 33–30 victory other the Black & Yellow; down 16 points at half time. But these types of performances are typical of a team 9–3 on the Season and #2 in the AFC West behind only the hard-charging Chiefs. AS to PIT, at 7–4 and tops among a weak AFC North, a playoff berth is likely to be in the offing but not necessarily pre-ordained.
Elsewhere, the Bucks overcame the Panthers 24–14 and in doing so found yet another not-terrible and kinda respectable showing in Jameis Winston. His hot and cold streak has leaned hot of late even as Winston figures puzzlingly into the Team’s long term plans. The Panthers, at 6–6 on the season, might be fighting for a Wildcard place setting at the playoff Table but to do so they’ll need more former Cam than the latter Cam that appeared on Sunday who found himself enrobed with 4 sacks and 4 interceptions. The where-did-they-come-from Texans enjoyed their 9th win in a row after beginning the Season 0–3. Impressive to say the least and to say the Deshaun Watson is delivering the goods every week would be to wholly understating reality. HOU is #1 in the AFC South an look to figure prominently in coming weeks. And how about those Saints? Wow, the only team that’s managed to topple the might Rams this season themselves fell to the newly resurgent Cowboys, 13–10. Lose no tears for Drew Brees and his fellow Saints who at 10–2 continue to cruise apace, wake turbulence notwithstanding. Dallas meanwhile sits proudly atop the troubled NFC East emboldened by their recent pickup of Amari Cooper and awash in relative success, their 4th win in succession.
And in over paradox universe, the phoenix rising from the ashes Cards pulled one over on the once-formidable Packers, 20–17. That Arizona pulled off a crucial win speaks more to Green Bay’s plight than it does a Cardinals turnaround. Because a turnaround for the Cards is NOT, err, in the cards. Pun intended. That the Packers let go of Mike McCarthy this week paints a fractured portrait of a fraught organization with plenty of holes to fill and gaps to bridge; not dissimilar the Aaron Rodgers family portrait so lovingly portrayed in last week’s newsletter. And at 3–9, the Packers will have plenty of time in the post-season to contemplate next steps, of which there will surely be plenty callous-strewn, painful ones. Also too, we saw that Indy went belly-up, 0–6, and to the Jags of all Teams. The Colts were coming off a 5 game winning streak and there was chatter of Andrew Luck and MVP. There will be none of that now. The Colts lost to a horribly, bad Team who just benched troubled QB Blake Bortles for being horribly bad. That’s where backup Cody Kessler stepped in an achieved the impossible: overcoming Indy and breaking a 7 game losing streak. Now don’t get me wrong. Cody is NOT the worldbeater of, say, Patrick Mahomes caliber but his leading of the JAX to the weekly victory parade has less to do with him and more to do with pure unadulterated collapse on the INDY side of the ledger. Lots of homework, lots of unfinished business for the Colts this week. And In in a neat twist of fate in bizarrOH world, even the lowly Giants pulled out a 30–27 WIN over the Bears. And that the Giants pulled together and stitched out a victory in as determined fashion as demonstrated on Sunday reminds fans of the Team of yore and that it’s still there and does make house calls every now and again. Now they just gotta work on the whole consistency thing. Really though, who among us doesn’t 😊?
