The 2019 NFL Week 4 Roundup | 100% Chance of Champagne Reign
Ohhhh the harbingers of Autumn: the metamorphosis of deciduous leaves into a multitude of amber-hued airborne flotsam; the first seasonal brush of cool, crisp and business-oriented breezes emanating from evergreen forests just over yonder; that immediacy and distinctive intoxicating (and non-California approved) scent of smoldering hard-wood Hickory bonfires; AND Champagne Showers 😊.
As in beisbol Champagne Showers. Yep a reminder to check your calendars because today is the 1st of October meaning the MLB Playoffs officially begin tonight. And with these games arrives lock-in-step a locker room tradition — the fabled celebratory Champagne Celebration. The history of such celebrations is hazy but seems to have officially become a THING way back in the day when the Brooklyn Dodgers beat the Yankees in the 1955 World Series where center fielder Duke Snider and pitcher Don Newcombe famously had beer doused on them in celebration much to their unabashed delight. This picture trended in slow-motion via newspaper front pages city after city and to Wikipedia where it now resides permanently today.
This post-season ritual has evolved some in the ensuing decades. Champagne has now largely overtaken beers as the alcoholic rain of choice. Naturally. There are 5 opportunities for any given team to be feted in such a manner in any Season. And ever the arbiters of taste, MLB has set some guidelines on how to best celebrate responsibly. Naturally. In place is a hard-limit of 2 bottles of Champagne per player allowed in the Locker Room (so 80 bottles and change; who’s counting really?). Also there is absolutely zero tolerance for such behavior spilling out onto the sacred playing field much less spraying Champagne into the stands. Definitely a no-no. Further, Teams are responsible for (1) providing non-alcoholic beverages for consumption and spraying to those players who are underage or abstain and (2) providing transportation home for all players who decide to imbibe. That Sound your hear? That’s the sound of the mass UberPool line forming outside in the parking lot. More practical matters, too, have come to refine the modern bubbly celebration that we know and see longingly on-screen today. Beforehand, a team of porters line the Locker Room with hundreds of square feet of 4 mil commercial-grade plastic tarping to in effect water-proof the room. Next, the cavernous icy tub of chilled Moet Imperial Golden Luminous magnums are rolled in alongside a freshly-unsheathed pallet of MLB-sponsor Bud Light beer. Cameras are carefully sealed, boom mics expertly poised aperch. And then Queue the winning Team enters, shakes, rattles and rolls. The strategic celebrant, of course, then is prepared with swimming goggles, a toothy smile and the uncontained fever of victory. Unlucky though are the bystanding beat-reporters who are best-advised to wear old clothes and dirty shoes and patient acquiescence. Such fetes can run upwards of $300K but really who has time to employ Deloitte in counting pennies when a shiny, shimmery pennant is at stake? A Champagne and beer celebration — $293,000. Champagne-induced Swimmer’s Ear — Included with your Kaiser Permanente co-pay. Celebrating with your sports family in marking a momentous achievement for the ages for all to see? Priceless.
Speaking of priceless, yikes were there some interesting moments and turn of events as Week 4 came to a close. WE saw the expected Dallas victory at NOLA turn into an upset, 10–12. With Drew Brees out for at least the next 6 weeks, we have NOLA’S Teddy Bridgewater keeping the lights on passing for 193 yards despite being sacked 5 times. Untypical of an unbeaten Team heading into the game, the Dak/Zeke ballet suffered more than a few missteps which speaks to the DAL offense as a whole. New arrival from the Fins, defensive end Robert Quinn had a particularly good afternoon. We’ll see if America’s Team can regain their composure in time for the Packers on Sunday. Over at M&T Bank Stadium, the Brownies were effective in barnstorming the Lamar Jackson show 40–25. Don’t look now but is that Baker Mayfield looking nimble, in control and a pinch more than decent? Your eyes don’t deceive you here but they are prone to mirages at any point in the next 12 weeks. OBJ had a light game but this strategy worked to strengthen the CLE Offense as a whole as the unit impressively carried the day. A time zone east, the Colts were having a rough go of it against the Raiders. Rookie Jacoby Brissett was pretty sloppy overall but at least he was consistent with his teammates. The IND Defense went one step further from sloppy into comical. While IND lost 24–31 to OAK, the score felt like it just as easily could’ve been in double-digit territory. Merit points to Jon Gruden an crew for keeping things relatively tight in going up 2–2 on the Season.
Meanwhile, Jon’s brother Jay Gruden reportedly is set to be fired as soon as next week. This coming off of pure catastrophe this Sunday past. Losing 3–24 to the newly resurgent Giants, the Skins stumbling over their own self-inflicted mistakes. Not helping matters is the QB lottery-wheel-of-the-week decision making process in Dwayne Haskins displacing Case Keenum mid-game, each throwing up awful numbers. Colt McCoy is set to start against the Pats this Sunday and will go just as you expect it to. Not to put a finer point on it but this start (0–4) is Washington’s worst in nearly two decades. Contrast DC troubles with the mild renaissance occurring up in New York with the Giants. Daniel Jones had yet another great outing further roiling the Eli Manning drama playing out on the sidelines. Whatever the outcome, NYG fans stand to celebrate; a position they are not normally accustomed to. Down in the ATL, the Falcons crumpled under the full weight of the Titans, 24–10. TEN’s QB Marcus Mariota had a particularly fantastic outing augmented by an explosive first half throwing 14/16, 189 yards and 3 TDs. Again, in the first two quarters. Jeez, somebody call 911 cuz there’s a fire burning on-field. As to Atlanta’s Matt Ryan, well lets just say that if one where to proverbially call 911, Matt would be the one doing the dialing. Similarly (though not at the same elevated level), CHI’s Daniel Chase, in for an injured Mitchell Trubisky, had a terrific game. Granted any QB might have managed a decent performance when paired with a Khalil Mack-led Offense but the fact that such a showing emanated from a backup QB was heartening nonetheless. Meanwhile the topsy-turvy adventures of Minnesota’s Kirk Cousins turned topsy. Yet again. The less said about him this week the better.
Elsewhere, Carolina at Houston witnessed an uncharacteristically lethargic Deshaun Watson and Co fall to the Panthers 16–10. Pitty Deshaun who would be sacked 6 times, a victim of the sieve-porous Offensive line. Carolina’s Kyle Allen persevered throwing for 232 yards despite 0 TDs and was instrumental in keeping the ball moving down-field. Upstate New York hosted the showdown of the week where two unbeaten teams (Pats at Bills) played in a game that morphed into the letdown of the week. A low-scoring affair, the Bills would succumb 10–16 behind their unexpectedly poor Offense paired with their signature stellar Defense. And that’s combination that on-balance never manages to right itself. Noteworthy with this game was the egregious helmet-to-helmet contact between Jonathan Jones and Bills QB Josh Allen. Josh is currently undergoing Concussive Protocol and one need look no further than the ugly replay to witness football at its absolute worst. Luckily after appearing motionless face-down on the field after the hit, Josh was able to walk off the field under his own power. The same can’t be said of Jonathan Jones’ reputation. And finally, KC remains unbeaten at 4–0 in spite of a valiant effort on the part of the upstart Lions. Phenom Patrick Mahomes for only the third time ever, failed to throw a TD pass, but no matter. They bulldoze their way into Week 5 propelled with prowess, power and blind instincts. Down in LA, the Bucks accomplished the unthinkable forestalling the Rams in their own quest to 4–0. This was a remarkable game in that LA’s Jared Goff managed to throw for a mind-boggling 517 yards and 2TDs and still managed to come out on the short end of the stick. That Todd Gurley was kept to just 16 rushing yards pretty much tells the tale of SoCal tears shed slowly in a high-scoring 95 point game. Kudos to Tampa Bay’s Jameis Winston for a blockbuster performance his very own on Sunday. Together with the rest of his Bucks, they delivered perhaps the most surprising upset of the week and in a three day stretch relatively bereft of any.
