The 2020 NFL Week 5 Roundup | The BarberShop

No Place Like Home

The Cut Stop Barbershop, in Miami’s Palmetto Bay neighborhood, is snuggled in an aging strip mall sandwiched between a quiet uniforms and embroidery outfit and a dusty antiques store, and features two sun-beaten exterior bar-height stools and boasts floor-to-ceiling storefront windows outfitted with a hand drawn stop sign flanked with two animated Barber poles, a take on the barbershop’s logo. Outward appearances betray its oversize influence in professional sports. While it might lack for that tony Worth Avenue address or the sizzle of a Miami Beach storefront, that’s precisely the point. The reach and reputation of the Cut Shop is beyond measure, the closest approximation being the glowing street cred and social (media) awareness it enjoys. Athletes calling from the NFL’s Dolphins, MLB’s Marlins and NBA’s Heat will oftentimes find themselves slinging down in their six-figure SUVs, AirPod Pro-adorned, sitting caped next to ordinary Floridians ever-eager to keep that super-cut super-fresh. It’s that real-life version of HBO’s The Shop on full display here that has the Cut Shop’s buzzy storefront energetically overflowing with approachable, relaxed community in equal measure to the agnostic on-fleek quality of the work offered up by skilled barbers.

And so it was on a hot and humid July 2nd that found Mo Rodriguez at the Cut Shop working overtime along with his fellow barbers, the shop capacity-constrained and overrun because Miami-Dade County had just allowed the reopening of salons and Barbershops region-wide. Masked clients spilled out and awaited their turn underneath the outdoor shaded walkway punctuated with sun-bleached terracotta stucco columns as those lucky enough to find a waiting-area seat inside were rewarded with a reggaeton-heavy Spotify LatinX playlist and intermittent blasts from an oscillating overhead fan motoring to and fro. Mo, busy brandishing a straight edge to his client’s cheek, saw his phone buzz on the counter. Noticing the name on his iphone’s screen — Will Rondo — Mo politely excused himself and tightly pinched his phone between his face and neck, his client frozen beneath a beard of optic-white shaving cream. Will Rondo was calling with the news that Mo had been selected as one of just 6 barbers headed to the NBA bubble upstate in Orlando. AS Mo’s phone plopped to the floor, Mo shouted his good fortune for all to hear at the top of his lungs and the entire shop erupted in exultation crowding around him offering fist bumps and Covid-be-damned bear hugs aplenty. For a moment, Bad Bunny and J. Balvin would be drowned out but not before Mo shooed everyone away careful to restore calm and peace to his shaving cream-bearded client as the two chatted about the excitement that lay before Mo. Mo completed the shave, his roster of remaining clients, sanitized his workstation, said his goodbyes and went home to pack.

The call from friend Will Rondo was a long time coming. Brother to Lakers Point Guard, Rajon Rondo, Will heads up a transportation and logistics company hired by the NBA to furnish the Bubble with the niceties of the outside world to encapsulated NBA players all in an effort to stave off boredom and overall nuttiness. Will was charged with, among a host of other items, outfitting each of the bought-out Disney hotels (The Gran Destino, the Grand Floridian and the Yacht Club) with Players Lounges ornamented with NBA2K gaming studios, innumerable TVs, arcades, ping pong and pool tables, single-use playing cards, you name it. But as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz intones: There’s No Place Like Home. And what NBA home would be complete without a Barber Shop? A MUST in Will’s eyes and THE standard course of treatment for any self-respecting player appearing on-camera, the NBA happily greenlight his proposal to the immediate delight and rapturous response from the more than would-be wooly 300 NBA players quarantined in Orlando. In Basketball, you see it’s all about SWAG. If you look good, you feel good. And if you feel good, your PLAY good. Simple as that.

And so Will set about in early June to canvass the world of professional sports, performing arts and recorded music to glean a list of 50 potential Barber candidates for inclusion in the NBA bubble. This list included stylists to the Who’s Who of pop culture: Russell Westbrook, Kyrie Irving, Zion Williamson, CJ McCollum, DJ Khaled, Swizz Beatz Miguel and Usher to guiltily name drop a few. This list was whittled down significantly when pressed through the Can-You-Be-Away-From-Life-For-Three-Months gauntlet. After painstaking FaceTime and Zoom call upon call upon calls a Golden List of 6 Barbers was distilled, each with minimum 10 years experience AND 5 years working with NBA athletes.

Back in Miami, Mo Rodriguez made the Golden List Cut just before Independence Day but life wasn’t so simple as to hop on plane and traipse into the Magic Kingdom. No no no no. First he’d have to quarantine at his home in Miami for seven days with no contact with anyone. This meant an NBA-funded hotel staycation since his family couldn’t quarantine in sympathy with him. Then a negative Covid test. Arrival at his hotel in Orlando came along with it yet another quarantine, this time another 7 days; mandatory for ALL Bubble frolickers. During this indoctrination period, Mo was feted with daily delivered meals and PPE-clad NBA medical personnel harvesting three inner cheek and two upper nasal brain-pinching swabs, all part of the required testing regimen. Every day, a digital medical questionnaire was posed of Mo, as were temperature measurements and oxygen saturation level readouts, each input into an app on his phone. After all the rigmarole of these Rona-era hoops, Will appeared at Mo’s door to escort him down to the Barber Shop, one erected at each hotel. Oh It was a bright, blingy pop-up Barbershop itself seemingly plucked off of a Hollywood soundstage. Coffered ceilings, Onyx professional Baber Chairs, soft glow LED lighting, filtered water and throwback black-and-white diamond faux-tiling made complete Will’s vision. And Mo’s dream. AS the doors were thrown open and word went viral on campus as to the goings-on, each of the Barber Shops quickly morphed into a Clubhouse of sorts. Here players from fiercely opposing Teams could meet on neutral territory and just talk stories with one another and their Barbers. Naturally, they’d talk, family, sports, politics and TRASH. Relentless TRASH. Tear-filled bowled-over bouts of laughter, barbed insults, varnished broadsides, mischievous Chesire Cat grins. Just like HOME. Or at least the next best thing.

Mo participated in his newfound fantasyland with seasoned fervor, enthusiastically greeting new clients and warmly welcoming returning ones. Superstar former client and friend Rajon Rondo was among them. As Mo freshened and made crisp Rajon’s fade and hair line, the small shop overflowed with communal banter. Mo took a pause and looked on in suspended disbelief. If for a moment, his home-town Cut Shop back in Palmetto Bay and the NBA’s Barber Shop were indistinguishable. Fame and celebrity were shooed away making for friendly sportsmanship grounded in blunt humor. Just the kind of intangible qualities that make a client’s swag SING. And just the kind innate goodness that still makes a Barber’s hands wring with giddiness. Yah, kinda like HOME.

Turning now to Week 5 in the NFL, there was little giddiness and much in the way of uneasiness with Covid beginning to rip through the NFL’s best-laid plans. The Patriots-Broncos thrice-rescheduled game was pushed from Sunday to this past Monday before landing on this upcoming Sunday, all presuming 100% negative testing of course. Patient zero Team with 24 infected members, the Titans played last night and positively flattened the Bills. The much-anticipated matchup of the two previously undefeated teams left quite the impression considering TEN’s dominance despite only three practice sessions in 16 days. Coach Mike Vrabel and QB Ryan Tannehill let any Covid aspersions melt away much as a sleek, coherent defensive game against a Buffalo Bill hide. For example. As to BUF, hopefully once is an accident, twice is NOT a pattern.

Down in Arlington, the Cowboys game was perhaps responsible for more looped HD slow-motion capture of a compound ankle fracture and reflexive spectator recoiling than any in recent memory. That it was prolific QB Dak Prescott to be felled in tears as he futilely attempted to painfully jam his ankle back into position was incredibly heart-wrenching. That Dak’s 2020 Season has come to a screeching halt after four near-record highly productive weeks is saddening. That doctors expect a full recovery in 6 months is miraculous. That America’s Team backup QB is Andy Dalton is, well, nerve-wracking and NOT good. That Dallas won and is #1 in the NFC Least is head-scratching. That the Giants lost to the Cowboys and cower at 0–5 on the Season is, well, funny in a HAHA kinda way. The Rams caught up with another contender in the NFC Least, the Washington Footballers, and witnessed the poetic return of third-string QB Alex Smith after a 693 day absence which left time for a compound tibia fracture, 17 reparative surgeries, a life-threatening bacterial infection and beyond-painful physical therapy. In for an injured Kye Allen, Alex offered a shaky start against the relative LA powerhouse. Jared Goff showed out while Washington was shown the door, 30–10. Alex’s offensive line did him no favors, allowing him to be sacked six times. Where the love, fellas? First rule with quarterbacks: Must protect the merchandise. Never mind that the merchandise just arrived TODAY!

Over at Arrowhead Stadium, a stunning KC loss at the hands of the Raiders, 32–40. Phenom Patrick Mahomes faded on Sunday and was not effective against Derek Karr who chose an opportune time to showcase his Team’s winning hand. Don’t sleep on Las Vegas this Season now that Jon Gruden has found that perfectly fitting face mask and perhaps a road to redemption. Vikings at Seattle looked for the better part of three quarters to be Kirk Cousin’s redemption tour his very own such was the surprising lead enjoyed by the Vikings game long. But as with all things involving MVP Russell Wilson, Kirk’s redemption tour concluded with a drenching in an ice cold rain of how-do-you-like-themmm-apples!?!?! A diluted Russell STILL managed to deliver 3 TDs brining to 19 his total Season-to-date. The Vikings sink to 1–4 while the Seahawks slink about at 4–1. Elsewhere in San Francisco, the comedowns continue uninterrupted with the benching of an apparently still-recovering of 49ers QB Jimmy G. That ankle injury from Week 2 closely resembles his proverbial Achilles heel. There’s chatter that the Team might be ready to move on from the Jimmy G era but whatever the case, CJ Beathard is NOT the answer with the anemic showing put forth on Sunday. Against this backdrop, the Dolphins behind steamroller Ryan FitzMagic (22/2/ 350yds 3 TDs) turned out the lights painlessly, 43–17. Weird how Ryan delivers and throttles up at the least expected times. Certainly it’s appreciated, but just in a quizzical way. Whatever the case MIA fans will take it; SF fans alternatively take it in the gut.

And finally in our Round Robin, Jags at Texans saw JAX continuing to fade while HOU and Deshaun Watson scored a much needed win under the eye of new Coach Romeo Crennel, the elder statesman in the league at 73 years old. Down at ATL’s Mercedes-Benz Stadium, the Falcons continue to stall and stall embarrassingly. Teddy Bridgewater and his Carolina squad were splendid as they easily snuffed out the Falcons, who with heads held low soldier on at 0–5 on the Season. Colts at Brownies highlighted CLE’s potential role as the Cinderella Team of 2020. NO thanks to squishy QB Baker Mayfield whose performance contrasts markedly with those of his teammates surrounding him, OBJ and Jarvis Landry in particular. Keep the gas on the Offense and defensive turnovers, and CLE fans can proudly step out from the Dark. This week’s matchup with Steel City will be the true test. And speaking of Steel City, Pittsburgh easily vanquished their cross-state Eagles and quietly roll-up to a lossless 4–0. And just as easy as the Steelers overcame PHL, the Cards helped to dubiously make perfect NYJ’s 5th loss in a row. Complete with the similarly burdened Giants, what’s crystal clear is that New York football is quickly becoming outlandishly cartoonish such is the generous and general ineptitude on tap.