The 2020 NFL Week 8 Roundup | Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?
Running Late
The weee early morning hours of Wednesday February 10, 2016 found then Bengals starting QB Andy Dalton frantic and in a mad-scramble. A crisp 37 degree morning set to an azure blue sky, Andy nervously summoned the American Airlines app on his phone to discover that his flight from nearby DFW Airport was on-time. Naturally. Trouble is, he and his wife were running uncomfortably late and were growing evermore nervous thinking of the throbbing traffic that lay stacked ahead on I-635, a 30 mile tortuous affair even in the best of circumstances. So Andy took a deep breath, chucked his phone into his jacket pocket, firmly unlatched the heavy tailgate of his father-in-law’s Agate Black Ford F-150, heaved his luggage into the resin-lined cavernous bed and ran back into the house to lock up. Racing against the clock and his wife seat-belted securely in the front passenger seat, Andy hopped into the back seat, slammed the door shut and playfully — but not really — urged his father-in-law to PUNCH IT! His father-in-law-in-chauffeur-mode made quick work of Lone Star traffic and knifed through the thick columns of traffic like, ahem, a skilled QB through a testy Defensive line. Despite his wife’s constant SLOW-DOWN-OR-YOU’RE-GONNA-GET-US-ALL-KILLED refrains, Andy couldn’t have been more thrilled with making that 30 mile trip to DFW in a near-record 24 minutes, door-to-door.
Andy and his wife swiftly flung open their doors, glanced at their American Airlines app alerts and found their nervousness escalating as the latest notice announced pre-boarding of their flight concourse upon concourse upon TSA screening away. They both said their goodbyes and swung around to the rear of the truck only to find aggrieved horror where smiles of anticipation dissolved into grimaces of boiling disbelief . In his mad rush to leave the house, Andy had forgotten to flip-up and latch the tailgate thereby offering a 30 mile long springboard from which his luggage had sprung. Overcome with anger and frustration, Andy and his wife looked at each other dejected; there would be no escaping DFW today. Numerous route retracing exercises to and from the airport turned up fruitless and chewed through countless dashed hopes. So what is a star QB to do? He did what QBs do best: He pulled a Hail Mary by tweeting for help to his 237,000 followers. The first tweet went out at 8:05am, the second follow-up at 11:09am. 8 hours and 661 (some not so helpful) DMs later, Andy’s twin Nike Departure Rollers surfaced with the help of Good Samaritan Robert. Details of how Robert found Andy’s treasure are to this day known only to the parties involved. Andy and his wife were forever grateful for the sense of community and selflessness they found themselves proud beneficiaries of that mid-Winter day nearly 5 years ago.
Which brings us to the now-infamous 3rd quarter play what would find Andy lying lifeless on the rutted grass at FedEx Field two Sundays ago. Andy, the now starting QB for the Cowboys IN for the grievously sidelined Dak Prescott, saw an opportunity. With 6 minutes and change left in the quarter and not many pass options at the ready, Andy decided to RUN, gripped the football tightly to his side and PUNCHED IT up the middle making it six yards before sliding to avoid two oncoming Washington defenders. Seasoned WAS Linebacker Jon Bostic, his shoulder lowered, deliberately hammered head-first into Andy. The force of the collision was so intense that Andy’s helmet was thrown clear and rolled kinetically for five yards. Helmetless, Andy’s head crashed to the ground where he was rendered unconsciousness. The play might have unfolded in the blink of an eye, but the damage was done. Not only to Andy who was quickly surrounded by Team medical personnel and Coaching staff but to Andy’s Offensive squad who looked on in bewilderment. Hazy and clearly our of sorts, Andy came-to moments later and was helped to his feet and off-field by the medical staff. If only the same could be said of his teammates. In the heat of the moment, not one of them came to Andy’s defense and approached Jon Bostic. Witnessing in real-time what had unfolded before their very eyes, It was telling that each of them stood speechless, feet fidgeting, finding time to accept slurps of water from roaming equipment staff in the face of a damning attack on the centerpiece of their DAL offense. Certainly Andy is no Dak, and with a wildly uneven record established in Cincy and new to the Cowboys chemistry, he’s definitely a few dozen votes short of Prom King. But what In any other sport (or even ANY other NFL team) would have made for a bench-clearing brawl, Andy’s teammates let slide with a yawn. Not even a smoked brisket-sized piece of anger could be found much less hoisted Washington’s way. An egregious and life-endangering cheap shot answered with whispered negligent inaction and chattery post-game commentary. Coulda. Shoulda Woulda. It’s all very unseemly and points to larger dysfunction undergirding the Dallas organization where it seems to stem from the top. 78 year old Owner/GM Jerry Jones was forced to apologize last week for artfully and eloquently sneering at al a local sports radio commentator to “SHUT UP!” in response to a reasonable question about a seeming Leadership void.
If only that sort of derision could have been mustered on-field by Andy’s teammates, it would’ve been a start. Now I’m not advocating for altercations, but in ALL sports there is such thing as professional courtesy and as a counter-argument pushing back aggressively when wronged . Andy’s Offensive line couldn’t even deign to deliver one. So the NFL did by metering out a $12,000 wrist slap to Jon Bostic, who after immediate ejection has since profusely apologized to anyone who will listen as has WAS Coach Ron Rivera. Cowboy after Cowboy have ham-fistedly come out in the days since stumbling over their words — and one-another — in saying they ought to have done more to come to their brother’s defense in the moment. It’s at the same time troubling and revealing that it took a tragic play to unmask the deep, internecine undercurrents whipping about AT&T Stadium these days. All of which dovetail nicely with DAL’s well-earned 2–6 record. But there’s some good news, friends. Andy is undergoing concussive protocol and is said to be doing well. He’s currently being feted and lovingly kept aloft by his thousands upon thousands of Instagram and Twitter followers; followers who never for a second would ever fail to SHOW UP. Whether for purpose, support, defense, or two wayward items of luggage, Andy can rest assured that while it might take an exaggerated shameful delay for a Dallas Cowboy or two circle the wagons, his online proverbial Cowboys never left their Posts ready at a moment’s notice to lasso crackling insanity.
Turning now to the midpoint of the NFL Season, it should come to the surprise of no one that DAL’s loss in Philly was the sordid affair you’d expect at 9–23. DAL QB Ben DiNucci slipped in almost imperceptibly to keep America’s Team on the same downward slope they been mired in for three games in a row now. There are reasons for sweaty panic wafting from both sides of the ball down in Arlington as evidenced from the damaged product they have on offer on-field paired with questionable management and strategy sourced off-field from above, the Cowboys have vanished in a dusty windstorm half-way down a distant rocky path to the offseason. That the Eagles were unable to take full advantage of these demonstrated shortcomings and nearly allowed their self-inflicted errors to rescue defeat from Victory speaks volumes to the inept caliber of gameplay in the NCF East. For the moment, the Eagles rest perched #1 atop the NCF Least. A straight shot down I-95, the only unbeaten Team in the NFL, the Steelers, barreled into M&T Stadium and hammered the Nest, 28–24. Against what has become a Steel City Fortress Defense this Season, Baltimore’s Lamar Jackson-led Offense wilted and shriveled. Lamar’s once acrobatic theatrics didn’t bother suiting up for the game. Neither did his Offensive line. What’s worse, Big Ben and Company exposed what a Baltimore Citybird truly looks like without feathers. The Steelers, at 7–0, remain red-hot and are certainly destined to grander post-Season kibbles and bits.
Meanwhile, over in Green Bay Aaron Rodgers is on-time with his predictable mid-season slump where his Packers lost to the lowly — supposedly — Vikings. A strong outing from Kirk Cousins who has seen his fair share of struggles this Season matched perfectly with dynamite RB Dalvin Cook (220+ RUSH/REC yards, 4 TDs) to snap their 2 game losing streak. We’ll see if MIN can keep up the momentum and if Aaron can floor the throttle and at the same time if GB’s run defense can hitch a ride. In Miami, the Fins started prized Draft Pick Tua Tagovailoa against the Rams and they managed to etch out a W, 18–17. This is Miami’s 3rd win in a row which masks the lukewarm effort put forth by the Offense. Yes this includes much-heralded Tua (12/22 93 yards 1 TD). The QB who Tua displaced, Ryan Fitzpatrick is still imagining make-believe plays in his head. LA’s error-riddled performance did no favors to the Rams still winning yet rapidly dwindling record on the Season, 5–3. And San Francisco at Seattle yielded yet more fresh SF injuries in a Season littered with them, This time to stars QB Jimmy G (high ankle sprain) and TE George Kittle (foot). These injures are substantial and likely season-ending for each much to their and fans chagrin. Backup QB Nick Mullens admirably settled in but ran into the SEA Russell Wilson buzzsaw, 27–37. Interestingly, Russell’s stellar 26 TDs for far this Season further burnish his MVP-in-waiting status.
And finally in our Round Robin, The Chargers met the Broncos and managed to let slip away yet another double-digit lead late in the game in ugly surrender, 30–31. Despite a valiant effort from QB Justin Herbert, LAC’s Defense is gonna have to step to it post haste if there’s any hope left at rescuing their Season which at 2–5 is already woefully upside down. The Patriots sink further with their 4th loss in a row (to BUF) and plumb depths not seen since 2008 and beyond. NE’S Captain Belichick was seen on the sidelines groping for an Escape Hatch; he found a big ‘ol L instead. Titans at Cinci established Bengals rookie QB Joe Burrow as a bona fide star. Joe took on the formerly unstoppable Titans and handed them an expertly installed set of anti-lock brakes and their 2nd loss in a row. Ryan Tannehill might be afraid of a speed camera after all. We’ll see if he and Team can shake off that nervousness next week. Over in KC, the Oliver Twist of Teams in the Jets, continue to plead for respect at 0–8. If only Patrick Mahomes and his Chiefs could be bothered. The Jets were thrown an L, their worst start since 1996, and a coupon for the offseason for the trouble. The Raiders snuffed out any whiffs of resurgence out of Cleveland, 16–6, in and doing so highlighted the key missing and irreplaceable pieces to CLE’s post-season puzzle. And don’t look now but the Saints really can and will go marching IN and OVER the Bears, in a squeaker 26–23 OT victory. Drew Brees and his squad powered through their 4th WIN in succession that left Chicago flummoxed, shouting at the wind and literally punching at helmets. Maybe CHI REC Javon Wims can use his big boy WORDS next time. Sigh.
