The 2021 Madness Sweet 16 & Elite 8 Roundup | Where the Grass is Always Greener
All Hands
NO two words paint a more wrenching, heart-palpitating look of dread on a rookie MLB groundskeeper’s stone face than TARP DRILL! And for good reason. Tarp Drill is a time-honored practice you’re quite familiar with without actually being aware of it. It involves the rapid deployment of a 1200-denier, 14 mil, 29,000 square foot, 9000 pound “tarpaulin” atop the 170’x170’ infield in less than 90 seconds. That’s the Standard and all 30 Team groundcrews are held to it. After all, torrential downpours can materialize at a moment’s notice and Teams must be similarly inclined. But nailing this routine casts all 25 groundskeepers in the lead role of a tightly choreographed micro-Operetta. It also demands incredible attention to detail, lightning-fast reflexes and horrible unspeakable volumes of random practice drills throughout the pre and regular Season set against any given weather condition. Tarp Drills require muscular precision mixed with equal parts pinpoint timing and well-oiled teamwork. It’s a rite of passage that when done right is imperceptible. It’s also a ritual honed in 152 years of Baseball’s rich legacy and fueled purely by high-octane Love of the Game.
The Love of the Game is what drew Nicole Sherry to Baseball 22 years ago. She stayed for the Field of Play. Quite literally. Nicole is the Head Groundskeeper for the Baltimore Orioles and this Season celebrates her 15th as the de facto Camden Yards Field Commissioner. At its most basic level, Nicole oversees a crew of 24 who together are responsible for the safety, playability, consistency and aesthetics of the Field. There is no Head Groundskeeper Handbook; no slickly-produced animated online job aids; certainly no laminated instruction manual. Rather, Nicole is guided by fierce instinct, studied horticultural science, two decades of seasoned expertise and entrepreneurial experimentation. There is also no off-Season for Nicole. Maintaining the clay infield, the slope of the field, drainage infrastructure, outfield composition and in-Season artistic mowing flourishes are among just a handful of Nicole’s constant worries. And this is to say nothing of the Weather that has Nicole maniacally gleaning the THREE radar apps on her iPhone. In fact, Not even the Pandemic could wrest her from Camden Yards. She would methodically visit the Field every third day (splitting the days and duties with her assistants) and at times in 2020 mowed the grass herself taking four and a half solo hours to complete. Some days she “dragged” the infield dirt; others spent aerating and fertilizing the 120,000 expansive square feet of emerald turf. It was these solemn activities in a stadium built with a capacity of 46,000 but with an occupancy of just ONE that reinforced Nicole’s sense of purpose and duty.
It’s this sense of purpose and duty that was on full display this past Monday as Nicole, her should-length blonde hair pulled into a tight pony tail, walked atop the Home Team dugout and reached for her walkie talkie. She smiled mischievously and depressed the Talk button. A staticky crack could be heard echoing on the walkie talkies affixed to the hips of her groundcrew sprinkled about the infield tending to various tasks. “TARP DRILL, EVERYONE! Let’s GO. You know what to do!! Let’s GO GO GO!” Instinctually and in impressive unison, Nicole and each of the 24 groundskeepers she manages hopped onto the Field and behind the bound 170 foot Tarp rolling pin. ON their haunches and spaced evenly 7 feet apart from one another, Nicole yelps 1–2–3-GOOO and at once the Team run-and-push-run-and-push-run-and-pushes with greased alacrity. It’s all over in 87 seconds flat. Nicole looks on and hails congratulations to her crew as they wheezily DAP up shaking their heads in proud yet astonished accomplishment. A Team record this time she eagerly announces. But the excitement is to be short-lived. As with any red carpet: It rolls OUT, it also rolls UP. So too with Tarps. The art of unfurling is just as demanding and important as its reverse. And so Nicole coaches her crew on how to properly tension the Tarp, strategically fold it and most crucially, roll it back up with absolute precision without catastrophic binding. Nicole, comfortable with Team progress, leaves the remainder of the Drill in the capable hands of her assistants. She quietly pulls her Lead mower from the lineup to discuss the status of the Outfield design for Opening Day. Talk of lawn striping, reel mowers, lawn rollers, fescue, feather contouring and expected sunlight angle dribble out of their masked conversation accompanied with bright visuals embedded on an iPad. In so many priceless words, Just another day at the office.
It’s this attention to deliberate detail mired in unbridled enjoyment that portrays Nicole as one of innumerable unsung heroes marching about backstage so that we mere mortals can drink up but a taste of pre-pandemic life. It’s not an insignificant undertaking. But it’s one with outsize impact upon American Life. Opening Day is tomorrow — on Schedule — and arrives not a moment too soon. Forecast: Pure Sun with a 100% chance of Normalcy. Thank you, Nicole!
From Opening Day to the Final Four, the baton pass has been set in motion but is not quite yet complete. The final stretch of March Madness is in our midst and launches on Saturday. The NCAA, groaning under rapidly mounting national furor and backlash, finds itself pinned to the Supreme Court hot seat today where attorneys for the Association attempt to defend themselves against antitrust accusations in forbidding compensation for student athletes among a whole hornets nest of related prickly issues. It’s a seminal case that will most likely have to be metered out by Congress to head-off 50 different NIL (Name, Image Likeness) standards. But that’s another messy matter for another day; more to come.
IN the meantime, the Final Four dinner table has been purposefully set. All the expected dinner guests are on the bill with the exception of one supremely unlikely transgressor; upstarts from Brentwood who hail from the First Four and who see the Final weekend for the first time in 13 years. Yes, that would be UCLA. The closest approximation to Cinderella in this year’s tournament, the upstart Bruins pluckily glide into Lucas Oil Stadium within a trojan pumpkin. We’ll see how far their spunky size 15 glass sneakers can take them. If the pundits are right, those glass sneakers will never see the light of day and will be shattered to crystalline pieces when they meet the Gonzaga buzzsaw. Numbers don’t lie. The Bulldogs are undefeated (30–0), throw up an incredible 92 points per game, exploit turnover opportunities, have depth and are emblazoned with a wicked Defense. The Bulldogs versus the Underdogs — appointment viewing on Saturday. ON the flip side, we have Baylor battling Houston. The Baylor Bears debut in the Final Four for the first time in 72 years behind an ironclad Defense. They also boast the highest 3-point shooting percentage (at 41) in the Business. Diluting this strength is their tendency toward untimely sloppy turnovers. Just the weakness Houston excels at taking advantage of. Houston’s Defense is a superlative and the second best in Division I, holding opposing Teams to just 58 point per game. The Cougars’ rebound game is on-point and contrasts sharply with their squishy Offense. All of this is to say that Baylor and Houston are well-matched and primed to be torn to shreds by the Bulldogs in the Final on Monday. Unless of course UCLA manages to yank on that proverbial short leash.
Caution, Gonzaga, for a potential choking hazard ahead no matter how easily past meals have gone down.
