The 2021 NFL Week 1 Roundup | Fort Knocks
The Candy Factory
Precisely 42 standard-definition yet highly revealing minutes into the first ever episode of HBO’s venerable series Hard Knocks in 2001, an unforgettable scene unfolds. Baltimore Ravens legendary defensive tackle Tony “Goose” Siragusa is witnessed holding court in a plainer-than-cottage cheese tired college cafeteria; The occasion: The first pre-Season Team Dinner. Seated against the fold of the room’s architecture and sporting a fisherman’s beige logoed bucket hat, Tony has nearly completed his meal of sliced medium rare tenderloin and veal parmesan. Armed with the comfort, bravado and mischievous nature that’s inherent with a League veteran 11 years in the making, Tony quickly and matter-of-factly outsources his mandatory manual weigh-in recordings to the lucky rookie who happens to be a passing by.
Next up on the grill menu is none other than the Team’s #1 Draft Pick, Todd Heap freshly of Arizona State. The 21 year old tight end is told to have a seat at the roundtable and before he even gets to settle in, his inner self could be seen scrambling wildly for the nearby Maryland hills. His food tray not yet fully onto the purple vinyl tablecloth, Tony asks Todd how much he makes sending tablemat Rob Burnett into a fit of riotous laughter. 5 years, $6.1M Todd quietly answers to which Tony yelps in reflection to the room. Tony makes abundantly clear that he is no fan of rookie salaries being that they represent bloated overcompensation for what they’ve accomplished LAST year in college. Beyond this, Tony continues to poke at him intimating that the rookie was “ripped off” and that his poor deal is the result of his name-checked negligent agent.
Still, Tony isn’t finished. He next waves over head coach Brian Billick who approaches in black Teva sandals and an optic white Ravens polo tucked into safari-ready cargo shorts, hands clasped in front of him with a Now-What-Goose smirk. Tony amusingly re-summarizes the terms of Todd’s quote unquote Deal and asks that Todd at least be allowed time with his newlywed (he had wed weeks before), which is strictly forbidden at Ravens Training Camp. Tony even offers to tongue-in-cheek pay for a room at a local hotel before completely reversing his position seconds later. Coach Brian brushes off this set-up with the skill of a DC politician asking if Tony is a defensive tackle or an would-be Hollywood agent. You’d think Tony is done at this point and you’d be wrong.
And then the scene’s piece de resistance. After thoroughly skewering Todd on national television, Tony dismisses him to fill up his soda cup, Diet Pepsi hold the ice, while shaking his empty cup — ice rattling — in the rookie’s face. Todd receives the exhausted cup willingly and returns with said sugar free soda and a fairly convincing replica of Tony’s trademark mischievous grin. Tony takes his beverage and instructs Todd to cleanup the table after he’s finished before leaving the table and all the scenery he’s chewed through. Razzed — Todd smiles, shakes his head and tucks into his plates plural of beef. He knows the Team elders (the only ones who matter) have accepted him — and paradoxically has earned their respect, however obliquely. Welcome to the NFL, Kiddo!
Watch the funny scene here: https://youtu.be/RTwS70pG4s4?t=2520
It is the honesty of scenes like this that made the debut Season of Hard Knocks the unexpected phenomenal success it enjoyed in the Summer of 2001. Compared with recent Seasons, Hard Knocks cameras were allowed unfettered Team access and the unprecedented ability to interview players and staff of all stripes (green, veteran, in between) about anything. Cameras followed rookies as they went shopping for dinner at the grocery store while at the same time documenting ongoing home renovations for some of the veterans (a then uncomplicated Ray Lewis). At the same time, head Coach Brian Billick welcomed viewers to his log cabin retreat in northern Minnesota where he and his family lazily spent the weeks leading up to Training Camp. He offered intriguing insights on the uneasy pressure of defending the Team’s 2000 Super Bowl championship amidst an ever-rotating cast of talent. On the other end of the spectrum, rookies openly spoke of natural human self-doubt and the possibility of their best just not being good enough to make the cut. Veterans simultaneously admitted to fears of aging out of the NFL constantly subject to replacement by that ever rotating spinwheel of incoming youthful talent. In short, Hard Knocks knocked down and humanized the players that glean on the big screen. And by this medium, it humanized the NFL. And that the viewer could relate to. An instant combustible success, Hard Knocks has become a summertime HBO staple and appointment television for any fair weather sports fan.
The undeniable fame Hard Knocks debuted to might very well have contributed to the show’s slow decline over the past two decades culminating in this year’s disastrous outing. More on that in a little bit. But what made the 2001 season so engrossing is likely what scared off Team participation in subsequent seasons. Nobody wanted their dirty laundry edited to producer narratives, twisted to conform to viewer entertainment and aired for the world to see without so much as a Team whisper in the sausage making machinery. Nobody wanted their Siragusa cafeteria moment, however realistically portraying the hazing rituals that take place every year with every team. No thanks. Rather, Teams much preferred the eyes wide shut, curtains firmly drawn approach. So much so that when the time came for volunteer Teams for later editions, not many helmets were raised in affirmation. Teams had to be coerced into participating by way of the Commissioner’s office. In fact, the 49ers, Steelers, Falcons, Seahawks, Texans and Redskins went on-record and vowed to never take part of ANY Season EVER. And so for 7 more Seasons, volunteer Teams consisted of either the has-beens (Bengals), those constantly rebuilding (Jets) or the ones seeking any matter of publicity (Dallas, two seasons). Sensing a gathering boycott mentality to one of the NFL’s most treasured and produced/financed pre-season platforms, the Commissioner in 2013 had had enough. He instituted a forced rotation among the League’s 32 teams whereby any Team could be volunTOLD to participate but for 3 conditions: (1) the Team had participated in the preceding 10 Seasons, (1) first year with a new head coach or (3) the Team made the playoffs in the preceding 2 years. Other than these three pre-conditions, Teams were told to be stage ready. That jump-stated participation rates nicely with many more volunteer Teams than prior to 2013. Interestingly, the Texans in 2015 were the first and only Team forced to take part in the long running series. But whatever the case, we viewers have been treated to such memorable seasons as the 2009 Bengals (highest rated and garnering 2 Emmys), the 2019 Raiders (the whole Antonio Brown burned feed/helmet/no-show at practice dramas, the hilarity of Jon Gruden), and last season’s twin Rams/Chargers covid-era purposeful quietude.
Which brings us to the just-concluded 2021 Season of Hard Knocks — Dallas Cowboys. Now you can’t really blame the Team for the finished on-camera cherry-picked product as much as you can blame the prior 9 Teams for iteratively adapting the Platform and contorting the output to fit their preferred narrative by fine-tuning the controllable inputs. It’s natural, smart and a logical byproduct of the unbarred 2001 Ravens season. If you’re a long time viewer, you can see the sanding down of the 2001 approach in real time. Player and staff access slowly draws shut before giving way to wide plank, general platitudes delivering in TikTok-ready voiceover soundbites. Veteran participation largely vanishes giving plenty of berth to a rookie class whom the viewer gets to know intimately before the lot of them get cut or relegated to the practice squad in quick succession. And the unyielding honesty that the 2001 edition was so famous for has now become glazed over to paper over all evidence of proverbial warts.
The 2021 Dallas season epitomizes all of these horrible traits and amplifies them to the nth degree. To the lay viewer, it’s simply beyond frustrating. There were 5 episodes where 90 players were winnowed down to a 53 man roster (+16 practice squad slots). But you’d be forgiven for wondering why viewers were only introduced to a tenth of that number. Of course Hard Knock delivered fan favorite and highest paid QB in the NFL, Dak Prescott, along with his best friend and newly slim for 2021 RB Zeke Elliott. Throw in approachably everyday WR CeeDee Lamb and you have the on-camera cast of characters. Head Coach Mike McCarthy (recently of the Packers) gives fans zero insight nor hope for a Dallas turnaround this year. He’s best seen in the Season finale when having to delicately deliver bad news to cut players and smiling to those he’s keeping on. He simply just doesn’t make for good TV. The one bright spot of this season is the Team’s reverse Ted Lasso in defensive line coach Aden Durde. AD lands immense credibility with his propensity to coach his players on-camera (as opposed to Mike McCarthy who simply won’t) as a fly-on-the-wall reality show should portray. Oh yes, and of course the British accent. Immediate credibility.
But overall, this Season just seems cloyingly overly-manufactured. Like when Zeke is struggling mightily to wrap a birthday gift for Dak and cameras show him having to YouTube how to wrap a gift. Please. And then in a hotel conference room, viewers are treated to just the two of them sitting a table where Dak gets to unwrap said gift (a $13,000 Goyard wheelie spinner) to feigned surprise. Staged to fill time? You bet. Or how about the 5 minutes producers spent following the mailman at the team facility delivering packages. Or the glorious 4 minute uninterrupted Zillowy drone shot of the Star practice facility. It all just leaves the viewer feeling that it’s all tightly scripted adhering to the Team’s prerogative of showcasing the absolute minimum beyond smiles and perceived strength. Sure we got to meet rookies JaQuan Hardy as he battles his glasses for a spot on the roster and Isaac Alarcon, and his love affair with cake, attempting the same (they both make the practice squad). But those moments are too few and far between and in retrospect straining to pull at your heartstrings. It’s clear that America’s Team looked at the 2021 Hard Knocks as a 5 hour longform advertisement. The Cowboys essentially produced their own infomercial. When any Team is afforded such persuasive final cut authority, we lose. Hard Knocks has devolved into shameful fabricated glossy artifice. Unfortunate in 360 degrees.
There is a telling scene in the closing moments of this Season’s final episode that sees multi-hyphenate Owner/President/GM Jerry Jones pondering and reflecting in his vast sunlit exquisitely appointed suite at the Star overlooking the immaculate practice field. He speaks in disbelief of his Team’s temerity of picking up Dak in the 4th round (and 3rd day!) of the 2016 Draft. Jerry smiles in recollecting the elite athlete, consummate Leader and professional statesman Dak has blossomed into over the ensuing years. He also laments the fact that he and his coaches were blind to that magnetic, signature soul and charisma during the scouting process and vows to better detect and amplify such crucial intangibles in the future. Hard Knocks producers might do well to do the same.
Which brings us interestingly enough to the edge-of-your-sofa games that bookended so successfully Week 1 in the NFL. Both Dallas (at Bucs, 29–31) on Thursday and Baltimore last night (at Vegas, 27–33) left unsightly oil stains in the visitor’s parking lot. While Dak was explosive debuting his newly refurbished ankle and exhibiting none of the shoulder issues hinted at during Hard Knocks, Tom Brady being Tom Brady and a last second field goal sealed Dallas’ fate. Meanwhile over in Sin City, the home town crowd witnessed their Raiders suffer from a 14 point deficit in the first half alone. But the QB Derek Carr-led Offense battled back to force an absolutely unwieldy OT thriller. A called back LAS TD, the ball bouncing off a helmet resulting in a Raiders INT, a Ravens ugly fumble, a penalty afflicted Raiders kicker who was nowhere to be found and a divine Vegas reception that ultimately settled the matter succinctly. Each game reminders that the best laid and edited portrayals on an HBO reality show are absolutely ephemeral.
Elsewhere, Steelers at Buffalo found Pittsburgh engineers fully deploying their Steel Curtain to good use, 23–16. A foreboding start for a Bills squad who travelled deep into playoff territory so magnificently last year. QB Josh Allen similarly slinked in lockstep. But its clear that Big Ben is BACK and is the formidable presence Steel city fans have come to expect for nearly two decades. Same can be said for the Team’s Defense. Packers at Ida-dislocated Saints witnessed one of the greatest collapses in recent memory. GB played like its star QB was off sunning himself in the south of France with his new fiancée, guest hosting venerable long-running trivia television programs and playing in charity golf tournaments for the past 6 months. Everything BUT gelling with his Team. Aaron Rodgers and his final season with GB needs no spoiler alerts. On the other side of the coin, we are officially in the post-Drew Brees era. Starting QB Jameis Winston displayed remarkable discipline and was especially efficient on Sunday. We’ll see if he and his Saints can keep up the momentum. The other offseason HR drama played out in stark contrast. Russell Wilson picked up right where he left of last Season in hammering the Colts, 28–16. A new offense coordinator in Shane Waldron comes with hopes of a trip to LA come February. IND did their best with a surprisingly strong defensive push but in the end succumb to Seattle battering ram.
And finally in some round robin action, Sean McVay’s bold Rams Matt Stafford experiment looks to already be paying dividends (against an admitted weak CHI Defense) where the Bears were trampled, 34–14. Conversely, the grand new head coach Urban Meyer and #1 Draft Pick starting QB Trevor Lawrence pairing debuted with a groan-inducing SPLAT. The perennially trouble-prone Texans stomped the rebooted Jags, 37–21. Worse, JAX was done-in by self-inflicted sloppy penalty-strewn mistakes. TLaw’s 3 INTs will bear watching in the coming weeks. For JAX, more of the same from 2019 and 2020. With HOU, a surprising W. The Cards burst through the Titans (38–13) behind a propulsive QB Kyler Murray and defensively, LB Chandler Jones (5 sacks, 4 tackles!). Jalen Hurts and his Eagles are giving Philly fans something to squawk about in their 32–6 pummeling of perennial NFL punchline ATL. Falcons QB Matt Ryan offers fans limitless questions abouts the Team’s strategy heading into this past Spring’s Draft. For starters: WAS there one? Jimmy G is BACK in San Francisco (as seen in the Team’s W in Detroit), longtime spirit breakers in the Washington Football Team continued apace with Ryan Fitzpatrick’s gruesome hip dislocation and related loss to the Chargers, the NY Giants and Jets rolled up big giant goose eggs as is customary, and familiar foes the Pats crunched a close one to MIA. QB Mac Jones really does look to be ready to steady the SS Belichick quickly vanquishing any fond remembrances of one Cam Newton.
