The 2023 NFL Week 5 Roundup | The Bills

Just four days into the new millennium, a routine press conference held in a space sponsored by the color beige rocked the NFL quickly triggering tongues to wag and heads to spin in shock disbelief. The wholly unexpected resignation went viral in an analog world decades before social media’s emergence as pop culture’s primary digital megaphone. The disrupter at the lectern who would go on the quit after just one day on the job? Bill Belichick. Generally ascribed as among the greatest head coaches of all time, if not the surliest, Bill can count on 48 years of NFL experience as he navigates — or barrels through — the stormiest tenure of his career to date. Over a near half-century, Bill has seen it all and has learned to expertly flex into success and deflect any inkling of criticism. It’s just his trademark, love it or leave it. For those outside of Boston, primarily the latter. Bill Belichick’s unrivaled success in the modern era has acted as an invisibility cloak impervious to outside challenge; a cloak that in recent years unravels dramatically in real-time to reveal perhaps an unrecognizable grumbled titan of modern-day football.

January 4th, 2000 was an unseasonably warm 60 degree day under cloudy, misty skies that nicely set the stage for an afternoon that would legendarily go on turn the NFL inside out. A large scrum of reporters gathered in an impossibly nondescript conference room harshly illuminated with glaring fluorescent overhead lighting drearily accentuating beige walls that seemed to close-in on its occupants with every passing minute. Crooked thick-matted photos of Jets players clung uncomfortably to the interior perimeter of the room as media amassed to the front, seated in deeply upholstered stadium-style chairs shaded in Jets green. At precisely 2:30pm, Bill entered the room stage-right, ascended a small podium and took his place behind a wood-grained lectern adorned with a thick, shiny varnish. Behind him draped a 10x10 backdrop emblazoned with the Jets and Cadillac logos against a stark white background. The backdrop drooped, slumped and puckered uncomfortably as if it knew what was to come. A single mic greeted Bill, who appeared disheveled in every sense of the word. A slightly askew blue patterned tie paired with a wrinkled, rumpled dark grey suit portrayed a coach telegraphing his discomforted intentions. He meandered for 58 seconds as media looked on in confusion before announcing his decision to resign as head coach of the New York Jets — just a day after becoming head coach of the New York Jets. He rambled, hemmed and hawed for the next half an hour before taking select questions from the shell-shocked reporters. His answers were as vague and evasive as the stemwinding address that immediately preceded them.

Turns out, Bill decided to drop the Jets like a bad habit and decamp 216 miles northeast to Boston where the Patriots and owner Robert Kraft beckoned with sparkling, toothy, mischievous smiles. The dramatic turn of events cannot be untangled from the OTHER famous NFL Bill, Bill Parcells. The now 40-year old and rocky relationship between the two dates back to 1983 when Parcells joined the New York Giants as head coach, replacing Ray Perkins who led the team to Big Apple mediocrity beginning in 1979. That’s when Ray hired Belichick as defensive assistant and special teams coach. Parcells inherited Belichick and saw in him much promise and tactical savvy. Under Parcells mentorship, Belichick added to his repertoire. He took on additional duties as linebackers coach and shortly thereafter defensive coordinator. Together, fans witnessed and enjoyed peak Giants with Super Bowl appearances and victories in 1986 and 1990. As sands through the looking glass, so too, coaches through the looking glass. Flush with glittery Vince Lombardi hardware, offers from rival teams poured in which meant a parting of the ways for the two Bill and the Giants. Parcells went on to coach the Patriots while Belichick veered to the Midwest, becoming head coach of the original Cleveland Browns in the mid-1990s. When the team announced plans to relocate to Baltimore becoming the Ravens, Belichick was promised a moving package to Charm City along with the Team. That email from HR turned instead into a pink slip. Ever-mindful of a former mentee’s crappy plight, Parcells quickly hired Belichick as New England’s assistant head coach in 1996. This is when the bond between Belichick and owner Robert Kraft would begin to cement itself. Parcells’ surprise defection to the New York Jets after the Patriots’ appearance — and loss — in the Super Bowl that year is said to have forever scared Robert Kraft, who was personally involved in the acrimonious negotiations involving Parcells’s release from the team into a competitor’s arms. And so the two Bills decamped for the Jets in 1997 before storm clouds quickly gathered on the horizon.

In 1999, Parcells announced — in yet another twist — his intention to retire from coaching in New York at the conclusion of the Season. His backchannels with New England, however, blared with alarming news that Belichick was in active discussions with Robert Kraft about coming aboard as the Patriots’ head coach, a grievous insult in Parcells eyes; and an especially stinging one coming from his much-prized apprentice. But Parcells was resourceful and knew that baked into Belichick’s Jets contract was a clause that made him head coach in the event of a Parcells departure. Parcells figured his first-mover advantage would short-circuit any talk of a New England exodus. Parcells’ resignation announcement went out on Monday, January 3rd, 2000. A Jets press conference announcing Belichick was scheduled for the next day; the celebrant, though, had other plans. In fact, Belichick and Robert Kraft has been speaking for months. Belichick and Kraft saw the naked gamesmanship on display with Parcells (with whom by this time there was no love lost) and would have none of it. Kraft offered Belichick an offer he couldn’t refuse on the evening of January 3rd: near complete control over the team’s operations — Head Coach and General Manager. A deal was inked that night but the most awkward part of the plan was yet to come.

Belichick knew his next move would be seen as an unforgivable act of betrayal that would set the football world afire. He contemplated delivery methods and mulled over pulling out of the Kraft deal. But he knew he couldn’t, especially considering the free reign he’d be coronated with up in Boston. Belichick arrived at the training facility early in the morning for his customary treadmill run at 6am on January 4th. Alongside safety Kevin Williams (on IR recovering from a bacterial infection that left him in a coma for two weeks), Belichick spoke philosophically of the limits of hard work amid the machined whir of the treadmills. It was the last conversation he would have in the employ of the Jets. He left the facility in a trench coat and a brief case shortly thereafter, very odd behavior for a newly minted head coach ahead of a press-heavy day according to observers. The behavior continued when he became impossible to reach as the sun dawned. He reappeared at the facility late morning but by this time then-coworkers described him demeanor as preoccupied and aloof. By the time of the press conference, Belichick delivered shock-and-awe to the Jets organization. At 2:25pm, he pulled from his brief case a napkin. On the napkin was famously inscribed: “I resign as HC of the NYJ”. Simple as that. And he knew that the show had to — and would — go on. At 2:30pm sharp, Jets PR director Frank Ramos — having just read Belichick’s now famous missive — nervously introduced Belichick to the press corp knowing full well the humiliating (to the Jets) news that was about to spill from Belichick’s mouth. And the rest, well, is fascinating history rendered in a way only Bill could cumbersomely roll out. Perhaps the beauty was in its raw, naked awkwardness.

The Jets, blindsided, complained directly to Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and received a 2000 first-round draft pick and other sweeteners as compensation for the Patriots’ transgressive aggrievement. That Belichick’s hiring necessitated such unprecedented terms to clear the air (on paper, at least) speaks to the worth, gravitas and winning credentials that Belichick has earned over his indisputably successful career. The superlative write themselves. Belichick would go on to famously foment a dynasty in New England, buttressed by six Super Bowl victories amid playoff appearances in nearly every year for the next two decades and a small 199th pick in the Draft in Tom Brady. For the past two decades, fans around the league have by default grown to automatically reject the Patriots due to their naturally dominant nature. In the last three years, the Patriots floundering for footing after Tom Brady’s departure for Tampa Bay, that dominance has melted into staggering domestication and now outright disappointment. The descent seems to be picking up speed. So far this season, they are 1–4 after Sunday’s embarrassing home shutout to NOLA which, itself, quickly came on the heels of DAL’s bludgeoning of the Team the week prior. Taken together, the two worst losses in all of Belichick’s 50 year career. Certainly not the look he’s accustomed to. But, without a doubt, the magic elixir is gone; that confident twinkle in the eye absent. And, crucially for Belichick, the Losing seasons keep piling up. Taken together with scandals including Spygate and Deflategate, his tortuous relationship with media and his well-documented stormy relationship with Bill Parcells, there aren’t many emerging to fight his battles publicly; especially set against a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately sports world where a winning record some time ago elicits more gaping yawns than bright eyes. Though Robert Kraft insists Belichick is here to stay as long as he wants, you can only hold your nose for so long. At some point the ballast gets thrown overboard. So as Bill Belichick and his Patriots groan into another losing season, an icon fades before our very eyes. A complicated story ornamented with genius, glory, betrayal, schadenfreude, nuance and perspective. A timeless story that nevertheless illuminates yet quite can’t quite seem to fit, much less reconcile, on the back of a napkin.

[Post script: The relationship between the two Bills remains frosty, at best, to this day. A sit-down with ESPN (pictured in the lead) was as uncomfortable as it looks. They spoke on the record about the Giants but little else that the audience salivated for.]

As we flip the page to the NFL at Week 5, no need to belabor the downward spiral the Patriots find themselves in with Belichick in the sinking wheelhouse. Suffice it to say that their 0–34 on the road humiliation to a ho-hum NOLA speaks volumes a franchise where once a proud team presided. On Thursday, another blowout that nobody expected. Indignity of indignities, the Commanders hosted the winless Bears on Thursday and expected — apparently — a walk in the park. They were taken for a ride instead. CHI QB Justin Fields had a great go of it for a change while WAS simply let go, despite a valiant — and ultimately unsuccessful 3rd quarter clawback. First thing on Sunday, the Jags hosted the Bills in London with pinpoint British accents and a plateful humble pie. The Bills, coming off three blowout victories stateside (most recently to the turbocharged Fins), failed to land the plane as the team deflated into foreign surroundings; surroundings JAX is slurping up to their advantage with their 2023 mini-residency at Tottenham Hotspur stadium.

Speaking of Miami, the Giants hit the road and QB Daniel Jones officially hit the skids. A woeful and porous offensive line allowed six sacks, the final one inflicting a neck injury that would lead to the QB’s early exit from the game. No matter because the 2022 magic where the team made the playoffs (and made Brain Daboll coach of the year) has deformed into 2023 malaise. The Fins for their part regained their footing and push forward with top billing in the AFC East. Longtime rivals Baltimore caught up with the Steelers in Pittsburgh and left control, precision and focus at home. The Ravens had slop and laziness in abundance in a surprise loss to PIT, 10–17. Crucial mistakes and an absentminded second half fully did in BAL allowing a shaky Steel City to emerge victorious. Kenny Pickett, playing through injury, picked up the pace nicely though we’ll look past a crummy first half. Over in Glendale, what a time for the Bengals to roar out of a funk. Joe Burrow, no longer constrained by a calf injury, displayed mobility he hasn’t since last year and a 34–20 mincing of the Cards resulted. Ja’Marr Chase, who complained vociferously last week about play availability, played the squeaky wheel to Joe Burrow’s grease. Ja’Marr simply went off (15 RECs 192 yds 3TDs).

In our Round Robin, DET again disproved any notion they’re mere paper tigers with a resounding 42–24 pounding of Carolina. QB Jared Goff no longer wallowing in what-could-of-beens in LA. IN LA at SoFi, the powerful turbulence of the lossless Eagles knocked the Rams off their hooves, 23–14. LA was strong but couldn’t outmuscle PHL with its tactical and physical strength on both sides of the ball. The Jets enjoyed a small renaissance with yet another win (at hapless Broncos) as KC knocked off the Vikings without any sort of Taylor Swift cutaway. And last night, catastrophe for the Cowboys who came apart at the seams in front of a live national audience where the 49ers showed out and put on display why they are the odd-on favorite for a Super Bowl appearance in February. The fierceness and emphatic declaration of excellence at every postion had DAL scrambling for the exits. At 5–0, they are the team to beat (other than PHL) at this point in the Season. So lines are forming, habits hardening as we near the half-way point of the Season. Already.