The Great Escape

A sad day today. We commemorate and warmly remember Jonathan the tortoise, who recently passed and takes along with him a bit of our hearts. At 191 years of age, Jonathan was the oldest known living land animal in the world. Living his best tropical life on the island of St. Helena in the South Atlantic, 2500 miles east of Rio de Janeiro, the almost double-centenarian grazed on local flowers, leaves and grass. His maximum speed has been officially clocked at 0.6 mph, weighed in at a trim 4409 pounds and regained 20/20 vision after having undergone successful cataract surgery in 2018. Sunglasses, bro! Born in the Seychelles when Andrew Jackson won re-election alongside Martin Van Buren, Jonathan will forever live on in our collective memories as the one who got away, slowly. Jonathan, you had a GREAT run and may you rest in peace.